You Are Now Free To Shut The F*** Up

It was posted about 20 minutes ago, so naturally you’ve seen it by now. I know by tomorrow it will be old news, but whatever.

The FCC has proposed that airplane passengers should be able to use their mobile phones midflight, as long as the planes are above 10,000 feet. Now before we go all crazy, it has not happened yet, only been proposed. Also airlines are free to restrict this capability at their discretion. 

So let’s look at the pros and cons of allowing airplane travelers to talk on their phones:


1) Your plane is crashing, so you can call your loved ones to make sure they destroy the harddrive on your home computer

2) Flying will no longer restrict you from having phone meetings while airborne. Always be closing!

3) You will no longer have to wait 1-2 minutes for your phone to turn on after landing. Unless you are flying an airline that makes you turn it off during takeoff/landing. Then you will have to wait.


1) You are bugging the shit out of literally everyone around you. Being in the sky does not change the land-etiquette of not forcing people to hear half of your stupid conversation


2) If this applies to pilots as well, then we are all screwed

3) For a lot of people flights are the last place they can go to have an excuse to unplug. Perhaps submarine rides will be the last tech-free haven?

I fly quite frequently, so we will see what kind of effect this has, if it in fact becomes a reality. Honestly I think it’s one of those things that’s easy (and fun!) to complain about before it happens, but will more than likely not be that big of a problem. If it does become super annoying, then I vote we enact SkyLaw to make it acceptable to punch loud, rude people in the face. 

5 thoughts on “You Are Now Free To Shut The F*** Up

      1. Phone talkers are worse!!! As long as the parents are trying their best to sooth the baby, I can handle it. I fly a lot and really haven’t encountered a baby that cries more than a brief amount of time. In general. I can’t handle loud people in tight spaces- whatever age they may be.

      2. Agreed! My worst plane experience was bratty toddler who screamed in the highest pitch possible while furiously kicking the back of my seat. Her mom kept quietly saying, “No sweetie, don’t do that.” Needless to say if that woman was allowed a cell phone we would all be doomed.

      3. That would have totally pissed me off. Just like crying babies, I can handle temper tantrums if the parents are making real efforts to get it under control. But in a case like that, no…just no!

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